One more stupid love song…

I’ve been wondering tonight how my Mumford and Sons station on Pandora became nothing but love songs. I don’t know. They kind of depress me. So why does Pandora think I like them? Truthfully, I like them more than I let on. I admit, when the Mat Kearney song “New York to California” came on, I got a little misty. OK a few tears fell even. I guess I wish I was that girl. Continue reading

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Last day in Lake Success

Today is my last day working in Lake Success. Tuesday brings a longer commute and smaller cubicle in Melville. Here are some of the things I’ll miss about working in Lake Success:

  1. The commute.  It’s kind of nice to work in a place I could bike to if need be.
  2. The ability to walk places – Pathmark, NEFCU, Lake Success Shopping Center, Starbucks are all a walk away. Oh, and my favorite, Chipotle!
  3. The Corner of Death at Marcus Ave. and New Hyde Park Rd.  If you’ve walked it, you know what I’m talking about!
  4. No more trips to King Deli with Senora Charo.  Hopefully there is a Vision Pearle on 110 – we can look that up on Googily.
  5. I can use the crappy phone service as an excuse to get up and walk around.
  6. I can use the delivery of batches to FM as an excuse to get up and walk around outside.
  7. Randomly running into people I know at Pathmark, NEFCU, Starbucks, Ridder Pond, or the Corner of Death.
  8. Conference calls via cell phone.
  9. Crowding around DK’s desk for the Monday morning meeting.
  10. The “Conference Room Juggle” – wherein you need to carry a laptop, projector, conference phone, and (most likely) coffee for a meeting.  Heaven forbid you lose your balance or something begins to fall. The first priority is of course the coffee, because that cannot be repaired.  Last priority is the projector.  Kevin can fix it.
  11. Hearing Phil complain about the temperature and declare he’s gonna call Maryann Dengel about it.  OK, that hasn’t happened in awhile, but it’s sad to know it won’t ever again.
  12. On a nice sunny day, being able to get away from the office for an hour at lunchtime, without having to get into my car.
  13. Hearing David having in-depth discussions with Ed from security about why the Mets choked last night.
  14. Speaking of Ed, his thumping of Cindy’s cubicle every time he walks past.
  15. Juan nickel and diming you in the cafeteria.
  16. Juan vs. Wan in the cafeteria.
  17. My photo / postcard walls.  I won’t have space for those in Melville
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Never be frightened at your own faintheartedness in attaining love

I have to admit I kind of hate Valentine’s Day, and I think that the fact that I’ve never actually had a Valentine has something to do with it. Anyways, it doesn’t really matter why. But any holiday that makes you feel inferior because you don’t have a sweetheart kind of sucks.

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Lived unbruised we are friends

I heard this song earlier today and it reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend this week. It was not an easy conversation, and I love having friends who can end even the difficult ones like this:

Friend: Thank you for not getting mad at me.

Me: Why would I be mad at you? I love you and I want you to be happy.

Friend: I love you too.

The best types of friendships, I believe, are the ones that bring out the good in you, and make you a better person in the process.

“Love it will not betray you
Dismay or enslave you, it will set you free
Be more like the man you were made to be
There is a design, an alignment, a cry
Of my heart to see,
The beauty of love as it was made to be”

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I’ve been wanting to write about this journey I’ve been on for awhile, but I’ve never really known what to say. I can talk a lot about this subject (and did at one point in a blog post, before I discarded the entire thing because it just got too long). I guess I’ll start with this…

I used to be fat. And it’s still a very strange thing for me to be able to add the “used to be” part, because a lot of the time I don’t really feel all that different. I know I’ve lost a lot of weight and fat, because I wear smaller sizes, can squish myself into smaller spaces, and see less chin in photos that are taken of me. But for some reason, I still don’t “feel” thin.

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I came across this, which I wrote on July 3, 2011, the eve of what would have been my mom’s 66th birthday.  I never shared it.  This month marks 5 years of being without her, so I figure I’ll start off the month with this.  It’s as much a tribute to my friends as it is to her.  I realize, the more I think about it, my friends have rather large shoes to fill, and I appreciate them for it.


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It is well with my soul

This is kind of a follow up to the blog I wrote 3 weeks ago. I can’t say I feel any better about my situation. I still doubt. I can’t help it. Faith in something you can’t see is hard, even though that really is the definition of faith. But tonight I learned that even though the situations might not be what I want, and that I might not be happy, I can still say it is well with my soul. Continue reading

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