I’ve been wondering tonight how my Mumford and Sons station on Pandora became nothing but love songs. I don’t know. They kind of depress me. So why does Pandora think I like them? Truthfully, I like them more than I let on. I admit, when the Mat Kearney song “New York to California” came on, I got a little misty. OK a few tears fell even. I guess I wish I was that girl.

How cool would it be to have someone write a song about you? (Unless you’re one of Taylor Swift’s exes, that is.) No, I always thought it would be cool to be Pattie Boyd. She got George Harrison AND Eric Clapton to write about her!

I’d love to be a muse like that. I’ve always wanted a guy to sing to me. To try and ensure this, in college I’d hang out with guys with guitars. I had a thing for them. They didn’t even have to be particularly attractive. But the second a guy pulled out an acoustic guitar and started singing, I’d run right to him. The guitar upped his hotness factor in my book. My strategy ended up not working very well. I had a lot of crushes and sang a lot of songs, but that’s about it.

When I really think about it though, I don’t know if it’s so much the guy singing to me or what the songs are about. Stuff like “For you I’d crawl from New York to California.” “I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more…” “For you I’d wait till kingdom come…” It amazes me what a guy would do for the girl he loves.

I’ve never had that. I’m always the one who is doing, and, well, I think it would be nice to have things done for me for once. Not in a selfish way. It’s just that I want a guy to pursue me. I always seem to be the one doing all the work, and that strategy hasn’t been successful either.

Instead, I want to be the girl that someone would walk 1000 miles for. Or, more impressively, crawl 3000 miles for. I want to be the girl he makes a beeline for when he walks into the room, the one he misses when I’m absent, the one who makes his face light up when he sees me. This is something I’ve always wanted but has always been out of my grasp. I guess that’s why the songs depress me, and yet I still can’t get enough of them.

One day, I hope I’m blessed enough to find a guy like that. Would I expect him to prove his love by walking or crawling a ridiculous distance? Nope. But I still have a thing for guitar players (this should not shock anyone!) and it would be nice if he could sing about it.